We live in a very large world. We will come in contact with many individuals - some will become our close friends, others we may see frequently in passing, while others we may never see again. Some we may see on TV, in newspapers, magazines, and meet through stories in a book. It can be easy to make comparisons, especially when someone has something we want...or think we need.
Comparisons come in many forms: physical appearance, occupation, home environment, level of success, the behavior of other kids compared to ours - the list is endless. The question becomes: What purpose do these comparisons serve? Think about this answer before reading on.
We often forget that each individual comes with their own personality, strengths, weaknesses, and the most important component - a story. Everyone experiences and goes through situations we know nothing about. How many times have we said, "I want to be as happy as ____," or "If I only I could be as successful as _____?" More often than not, we base these wishes only on what we perceive. We may see a woman with a bright smile, laughing with her friends, and think, "she looks so care free!" What if we found out those few moments with her friends were an escape from a difficult home life, and a way for her to cope with recently being laid off from work? Would we still want to experience her seemingly "care-free" life?
The problem with comparisons is that they never end. You say we do become equally as successful as our neighbor, will that fulfill our desired level of happiness? Or will we then want to become equally as good-linking as our friend? What results is an ongoing, never-ending chase for happiness, and increasing anxiety levels along the way. What we're unintentionally telling ourselves is, "I am not good enough."
But... good enough for what? To be you? Of course you're good enough to be you. You're the only one who CAN be good enough for you.
What's important is to take our own personal journey through life.
Ask yourself, how can I become a better "me?" How can I feel better than I did yesterday? and the day before that? What are "my" goals?
If you are unsure of your goals, therapy can be a good option to explore, as we often look to emulate others when we feel lost. However, others' goals are not always our goals, and the vicious cycle of chasing happiness begins. Always remember, "I am good enough for me."
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